I'm sorry that I worried you all with that last journal, and I want to say that I am alive and okay.
I've been having a rough go at things lately, and it's gotten to the point where I question why I'm still here.
So I think that if I write about what's been going on in my life it'll help in some way. So here we go.
Back in December my mother was diagnosed with cancer. This news was scary and life changing, to say the least.
This has made me think about what the future holds for me, and for my family. Like, am I just going to stuck here looking after everyone?
How much am I going to take over after my mom goes through all the chemo and surgery? Will she make it even?
Then there's my art and my writing, which has been suffering a lot for a number of reasons, my job being one of them. The other part is that
I've been struggling with my ideas and could use some input, but I've been having trouble reaching out for help which ties into another aspect of my life
that I've been struggling with.
I haven't been really social anywhere lately, and I've been reluctant to talk to anybody within my circles of friends. Because I keep thinking that everyone have their own lives to lead (which is true)
and they wouldn't want me to waste their time talking about random crap or whatever nonsense that I come up with. So this has left me wallowing in all my emotional filth without someway of letting it
out. Which in turn has led me down a downward spiral of depression and no motivation to do anything other than go to work and do whatever my parents need my help with.
I could probably go into more details but I'm sick and tired, (sick because I have a cold, and tired from lack of sleep) and I'm having trouble compiling my thoughts.
I want thank you guys for sticking with me. You don't know how much I appreciate you guys.
Again, I'm sorry that I worried you all, and hopefully things'll get better.